a better version of me

I'll be honest - I tend to make lofty resolution at the New Year, and fail to keep most of them as they are made out of obligation, not an honest desire to strive for change. They tend to be generic resolutions, like going to the gym more or doing better in school, and were long term without much short term accountability. At times I even found myself waiting until the New Year to make resolutions, instead of making immediate changes. Last year I made a list of resolutions, all as predictable and general as in years past, and promptly abandoned them once I got laid off from my job in the financial industry. I found myself forced into change and revamping my goals to make them jive with my current situation (do not stay in bed all day, keep the wood stove running, keep the house clean) and despite it being a slow process it worked. This theme of constant change and adjustment followed me through the year as I applied to grad school (and got in!), changed from a two year to a one year program, moved, did really well in school and took up a running program. And perhaps most importantly realized that resolutions are best any time of year, duh.

The start of 2010 finds me on a month long break from school (!!!) and already desperate not to fall back into some of the less desirable habits common in the early days of my unemployment. I have made it my first goal that I am going to organize our apartment from top to bottom, largely because we're still not completely purged from our move from a three bedroom house with a garage and a shed to a one bedroom apartment with one - ONE! - closet. Phase one of this organization project was the kitchen, which is part of an open floor plan that looks out into our living room. We have very limited counter space and much of it was consumed by counter-y stuff: jars for flour, sugar & tea, coffee, measuring cups, a mug tree. Mr B, who is a carpenter, conceived of putting some shelves in the kitchen to free up some space both on and under the cabinets (by having a place to hang pots and pans) and this is what we've come up with:

This is the new, smaller shelf above our sink. This one is more for pretty things, like candles, pictures and snazzy garlic holders.



This shows the new, larger shelf that holds pots and pans (two are missing as I took advantage of my new counter space and embraced my inner Julia Child), and other assorted crap. While they might not seem like much, these shelves propelled a total kitchen overhaul and cabinet reorganization. The result? We can actually see what we own food wise instead of guessing if we need more couscous at the grocery store, and suddenly owning 12 boxes. Ahem.

The next phase of my apartment reorganization project is to take down our Christmas paraphernalia (tree, ornaments, the stuff under the tree that doesn't have a dedicated home yet because it's been easier to leave it under the tree and blame it on Christmas). Our living room is large but it takes work to make it look not cluttered, and within the week I aim to get a large bookcase to replace a currently-falling-apart smaller one, figure out what I am doing with a year's worth of The Economist magazines, get all of Mr B's tools OUT of the living room, find a home for the crap that is residing behind the tv, and generally just get rid of whatever it is that we don't use anymore. We plan to be here for a long time (which my friends have bet against as so far we've moved once every roughly 10 months), and it's not going to be helpful to start hoarding now.

Finally, and perhaps what will be the most intense/fun/expensive part of this organization will be to sort through my clothes. I admittedly hoard clothes, largely because I received 99% of them from my mom and I feel bad throwing out anything she has purchased for me. Ultimately, though, I don't wear many of them and my spiffy "California closet" - ie, completely exposed as the one closet we have is NOT in the bedroom - prevents me from shoving them on a rack, closing the door, and ignoring them. So this means that I am going to have to throw away items that are ripped/stretched out/faded beyond being trendy, and donate the things that just genuinely don't fit right. That's the intense part. The fun/expensive part will be replenishing the wardrobe, but it will be needed. Student teaching is, after all, a drawn out job interview. It would be a shame to lose out because I look like a broke college kid.

Making resolutions and setting goals are never bad things, so long as they are realistic and genuine. I am aiming to continue and complete my running program and continue to run beyond that. I want our sometimes too small apartment to be comfortable, and not crowded. I want my wardrobe to be professional and well cared for. Most importantly, and this is the motto that governs my life, I am working on a better version of me.

peace&love,
renski