and that's why they call it a roadblock

Part of purging my closet means that I have to try on certain items of clothing. Namely, pants. I tackled this part of the project after my post-run shower expecting that at the least, pants that fit six months ago would still fit today.

Wrong.

Instead, my self esteem and good feelings from running evaporated as I realized quickly that no, that one pair of pants did not mysteriously shrink. Instead it seems that despite running three times a week since November began, and really working to watch what I eat, has not resulted in any changes significant enough to be reflected on a scale or in my pants.

My running partner over at Generally Fabulous shares these same lamentations. As someone who has bounced from one workout plan to another over the years, I have to tell you that it is moments like these that can ruin weeks of training. I understand that results are not immediate. Generally Fab phrased it perfectly:

I am LIFTING MY BODY OFF THE GROUND AND PROPELLING IT FORWARD for 30+ minutes 3-4 times a week and that's not doing anything?

Despite this overwhelming frustration, I am determined to push my body off this plateau and embrace the inner, more in shape version of myself. And while it is going to be bizarre to continue to eat my allotted calories for the day while simultaneously feeling as though I am not working them off, I will do that too. I maintain that this is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. I suppose that overall, it's really just about pushing through moments such as these.

peace&love,
Renski

it's a long term thing, as it turns out

One of my gifts for the holidays was a generous gift certificate from Mr B to Barnes and Noble (because he's noticed I've been re reading everything on my bookshelves and thinks I'm weird). I took part of yesterday to head down to Kingston to exchange a few other gifts and to find something to read. Now, purchasing books is a daunting task. They are the one item that I like to own and have warned Mr B that when we build a house it needs a room with floor to ceiling bookshelves, but this does not mean that I will buy anything. Books need to fit the following criteria: I would want to read it again, I will learn something from it, and I can't finish it in one sitting. So, as I said, daunting. (Not fitting these doesn't mean I won't read it, just that I'll borrow it rather than buy it.) So as you can see, daunting.

When I walked through the doors into book heaven, the first thing that smacked me in the face was a huge display full of books on dieting. These books varied in shapes and sizes but all were bright and eye catching. Many featured their in shape authors on the front, and all promised that by purchasing their book you would get in the best shape of your life. This display reminded me of all the TV commercials (we only have one channel so I see many of the same commercials over and over again) I constantly see. Be it for Alli or Weight Watchers, or any of these brightly colored books filled with promises, they're all getting at the same thing: we need to change how we live our lives.

I am fortunate that my mom went on a health kick when I was a kid and always had healthy meals, otherwise I would probably resemble a Beluga whale. While I never had a sweet tooth I did have a love for McD's & Burger King, and in college that turned to pizza and beer. Exercise was limited to walking to and from the metro, and I am very grateful that I didn't weigh myself during those years (the pictures tell me enough). Around the beginning of my junior year I started going to the gym and eating less - not better. I lost a bunch of weight and that was the thinnest I have been in recent memory. When I moved in with Mr B I stopped watching what I ate and worse, starting eating like HIM. My trips to the gym stopped and it wasn't until we moved to NY I joined a gym again. Two years and change from when we moved up here I am in better shape, but not best shape. But I am on the way.

One of my favorite things about running outside is that I have fewer excuses not to go. A gym required packing a bag, driving and finding a parking spot - then there was the amount of time that it takes to get home afterwards. Running outside requires getting dressed and, well, going. There is also a greater degree of freedom in this. I can run anywhere, anytime, anyplace. It's liberating and weirdly, empowering. It simply requires throwing some gear on, and I'm out the door. I am learning to take this same sense of empowerment and translate it to other areas of my life. Nutrition is my current top priority, because if this is going to be a lifestyle change then this is another huge piece of the puzzle. It's hard right now with the abundance of cookies and candy following the holiday, but on the other hand it's a fantastic test of will power!

I just finished the second day of week 7 in the Couch to 5K, which was my third 25 minute run. The first two I did with someone else (my sister, and then Mr B) but this was my first solo endeavor. And I did it! I am, however, getting a bit bored with my route but until I feel brave enough to conquer the hills that surround the apartment, I will stick to the Rip Van Winkle Bridge (and hey, the view is GREAT!). Also, I am hoping my running buddy will feel better and go running with me again!

We're headed to Syracuse through Saturday to ring in 2010 (and yes! I am bringing my running shoes!). Hope everyone has a healthy, happy New Years!

peace&love,
Ren

running towards change

This holiday season was our fourth together, and by far the best yet. You'd think by this point we'd have a routine but what fun would that be? Instead, we've played every year by ear and this year finally stumbled on a formula that worked. There was still the requisite running around (as our families are two hours apart) but we got to our final destination on Christmas Eve and remained there through the 25th. This, combined with Mr B's excitement that rivaled any small child's, made for the best holiday in a long, long time.

I began doing the Couch to 5K program back in the beginning of November. I have followed the program faithfully but have harbored my doubts - me, the girl who got winded running the bases in high school run 3 miles? Psssh. Yet, I keep surprising myself. At the end of week 5 when I ran 20 minutes I think I spent the entire time in awe. On Christmas day my sister Bug (personal trainer, rugby player, has run a half marathon) went for a run with me, the first 25 minute run. The run was a success (albeit it a hard won success) in both duration and distance - at least 2.5 miles! As we walked back to my parents and my sister regaled me with tales of her half marathon (wow!), I could not actually believe that I had just done that. I mean, don't get me wrong - we're not done yet. But now, I finally believe I can do it.

Unsurprisingly, Mr B and my family had faith in me from the start. Despite that it is has been only about 8 weeks, I received some really nice running gear for the holiday/my birthday. Dad gave me some nice Under Armour Cold Gear pants and a turtleneck and a DVD by Al Lyman, and from Mom I got a Road ID bracelet. Sharon got me Nancy Clark's Sports Nutrition Guidebook, an awesome hat, and a gift certificate to Dicks, and my mom's cousin got me an exercise ball and resistance band. And Mr B, perhaps my biggest support system, got me a running pouch and new earphones. I am the queen of starting things and not finishing them (case in point: how long since I updated this thing?!), but these gifts have just hardened my resolve.

I have always loved the feeling of working out, but have not ever stuck with anything long enough to consider it a lifestyle change. Already, this feels different. Maybe it's because I don't have to have anything fancy, and don't have to drive anywhere, or maybe it's because I'm just a few days shy of 25 and realize that it's TIME. Where ever my inner motivation is coming from, it's spilling into other areas of my life quite nicely. I come home from a run and want to nourish my body properly. I haven't had a french fry in weeks, and I am actively trying to make this a lifestyle change. The book from Bug is a fantastic start, and I've already read about half of it. My dad got me a Kelty bag for my birthday and I am confident in a way I would not have been last year that it will get plenty of use. I can't wait to explore all the local hiking trails and really embrace this inner camper.

In conclusion, and in an effort to really motivate myself through the last three weeks of this program, I'm setting a personal goal to do the Freezer 5K in February. Sure, it will be cold, but that's why I have my Cold Gear!

peace&love,
Ren

goooooo yankees!

So. Maine fails to allow gay marriage. The Yankees win the World Series for the 27th time. And Matsui proves why he has always been my favorite Yank. What a whirlwind.

Incredibly disappointed in Maine, but I almost think that goes without saying. I won’t stand on my soapbox much longer than to say…shame on you, Maine. And shame on all the other states without laws legalizing gay marriage.

Very excited the Yankees won! I had my doubts after they lost game 1 but they held strong and showed everyone what they were made of.

from the NYT, I wasn't there

I do wish that some Yankees fans could be more gracious *ahem facebook mud slinging ahem* but to be fair, over the course of the series I’ve seen a lot of people actively rooting against the Yankees in some not so nice ways. It’s the nature of the game, I suppose. And speaking of the nature of the game, I am so excited that Matsui was named MVP. He was one of the main reasons I began to love the Yankees as opposed to just going along with it because I was a New Yorker. At any rate, it was a well deserved win in their new home.

Today will be day one of Couch to 5k . SA already did her portion, so that means I have to motivate through it! I am really excited. My former college roommate, Roomie, put it perfectly: “I want to be able to do a 5k whenever.” That’s only 3 miles and to be honest, seems like it should be an entirely reasonable goal. This is one of the main reasons I am excited about the Couch to 5k Program that we are going to be using – it’s structured, and if we can push through it, I know that we can get to where we want to be.

peace&love,

Ren

of morality & legality (or something like that)

“Drive Safely” has become the new parting phrase at school. Where we used to say “catch ya later” or “hang in there”, we now remind one another that it takes but a swerve to end it all. I am not a religious person, but I find myself saying a prayer when I pass the spot where HSR passed.

We attended a wedding in CT this past weekend for a family member of mine and his partner of 21 years. It was a beautiful wedding for so many reasons, not least of all that their relationship has already lasted more than most marriages do*. This is why I don’t understand why people have an issue with gay marriage. How is this joining of two people who love each other dearly, and will continue to love each other dearly, damaging to the sanctity of marriage? Our good friends, two women, are about to embark on the process of adopting a child. Domestically they can adopt as a couple but they are looking at nearly 4 years of red tape. Internationally, they have to pretend to be single, because the rest of the world doesn’t think a child should have two mothers.

In other news, my girlfriend in NYC and I are going to long distance train to run a half marathon together. We’re going to start with a 5k and work our way up, but this is very exciting. It will be nice to have someone to be held accountable to, but still have the independence of doing it alone. I’ll update as we go along. As of now, starting Thursday.

Annnnd I’m off to do schoolwork. Or something.

peace&love,

Ren

*(I am making this statistic up)