and that's why they call it a roadblock

Part of purging my closet means that I have to try on certain items of clothing. Namely, pants. I tackled this part of the project after my post-run shower expecting that at the least, pants that fit six months ago would still fit today.

Wrong.

Instead, my self esteem and good feelings from running evaporated as I realized quickly that no, that one pair of pants did not mysteriously shrink. Instead it seems that despite running three times a week since November began, and really working to watch what I eat, has not resulted in any changes significant enough to be reflected on a scale or in my pants.

My running partner over at Generally Fabulous shares these same lamentations. As someone who has bounced from one workout plan to another over the years, I have to tell you that it is moments like these that can ruin weeks of training. I understand that results are not immediate. Generally Fab phrased it perfectly:

I am LIFTING MY BODY OFF THE GROUND AND PROPELLING IT FORWARD for 30+ minutes 3-4 times a week and that's not doing anything?

Despite this overwhelming frustration, I am determined to push my body off this plateau and embrace the inner, more in shape version of myself. And while it is going to be bizarre to continue to eat my allotted calories for the day while simultaneously feeling as though I am not working them off, I will do that too. I maintain that this is a lifestyle change, not a quick fix. I suppose that overall, it's really just about pushing through moments such as these.

peace&love,
Renski

that small time charm

Until August of 2007, I have never lived in a small town. I grew up in a city of about 85,000 people in Central Connecticut, which had a great sense of community but was not small. I lived in DC for four-ish years while I did my undergrad. It goes without saying that in no way, shape or form is DC a small town. And then, because Mr B is from upstate NY I agreed to move here once I was done with school.

For a year we lived in a tiny village (village as in it is a smaller part of an already small town) in Columbia County. We were right on Main St in a quaint 1770 apartment, complete with wavy glass windows and slanted molding. This town had two gas stations, a Family Dollar, two small restaurants (one catering to the locals, and one to the ‘city-idots who came up on weekends, pricing wise) and a volunteer fire alarm that was right across the street from us. (Side note: if you have never heard one of these alarms, imagine the loudest and most prolonged wailing you can. And then repeat it three times. At 2am.) This small town did not have a grocery store and thus, many day to day essentials were purchased at the Stewarts Shop, which was diagonally across the street from us.

Well. I was unemployed for the first month we lived there. This meant I ran to Stewarts quite a bit. One day while I was getting the paper the cashier asked me how the job search was going. Say what?! Turns out she had noticed that I would go to the job section first and deduced it from there. Then other things – my hair cut, my clothes, and on. At first it was a little bit weird (I had not lived in places where people were nice to you!) but I grew somewhat accustomed to it. I noticed her haircut and knew she was a single mom. It was a decent relationship, even if it did mean I didn’t run out of the house without brushing my hair anymore.

Now we live in Greene County, and have been here a few months past a year. Because it is larger than our last stomping ground I was convinced for a while that it would not be quite the same. Thankfully I had already had small town experience, because I was quickly proven wrong. We frequent one Italian restaurant (always sit at the bar) and they know us by name. The one time I abstained from a beer with dinner, the rumor mill got started that I was pregnant – now, I make sure to always drink (!) or explain why I am not. The laundromat owner knows what day I come in and will ask if I was ill if I am late. The cashiers at Price Chopper know we always have a 3 pack of water under the cart, and the pizza joint on Main St knows us by face.

I began writing this intent on pointing out the times when this is a negative thing – when you see someone you don’t want to chat with but are obligated to by social standards, or when you want to pick up a prescription in private. But as the words unfolded, I realized that this is not indicative of how I feel most of the time. The truth is, after living in large, impersonal cities for so long, it’s nice to be part of a small community. Cheers was on to something – having somewhere people know your name is underrated, especially in todays world.

peace&love,

Ren

of morality & legality (or something like that)

“Drive Safely” has become the new parting phrase at school. Where we used to say “catch ya later” or “hang in there”, we now remind one another that it takes but a swerve to end it all. I am not a religious person, but I find myself saying a prayer when I pass the spot where HSR passed.

We attended a wedding in CT this past weekend for a family member of mine and his partner of 21 years. It was a beautiful wedding for so many reasons, not least of all that their relationship has already lasted more than most marriages do*. This is why I don’t understand why people have an issue with gay marriage. How is this joining of two people who love each other dearly, and will continue to love each other dearly, damaging to the sanctity of marriage? Our good friends, two women, are about to embark on the process of adopting a child. Domestically they can adopt as a couple but they are looking at nearly 4 years of red tape. Internationally, they have to pretend to be single, because the rest of the world doesn’t think a child should have two mothers.

In other news, my girlfriend in NYC and I are going to long distance train to run a half marathon together. We’re going to start with a 5k and work our way up, but this is very exciting. It will be nice to have someone to be held accountable to, but still have the independence of doing it alone. I’ll update as we go along. As of now, starting Thursday.

Annnnd I’m off to do schoolwork. Or something.

peace&love,

Ren

*(I am making this statistic up)